Why Does He Outrank You?
by purplestarling
Summary: There is something hiding in the cargo hold under engineering...Ok this is a total fluff piece.


I've been sitting on this for awhile. I meant to post it weeks ago but I got distracted. Anyways, thanks for all the reviews and favorites on my other storie. All my stories go with the other ones, if I do one that isn't related I will let you know. Enjoy!

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Garrus sat in the main battery looking at his reports and messages from Palaven. Still no messages from his father or sister, he sighed as he turned off his Omni-Tool. "EDI," Garrus said aloud.

"Yes Officer Vakarian? How can I assist you?" EDI chimed back.

"Is Shepard busy at the moment," probably a stupid question. She was always busy.

"She is currently down in the cargo hold underneath engineering," EDI responded.

"Cargo hold? What is she doing down there?" He said confused, as he got up from the step in the main battery he liked to sit on.

"I asked the Commander the same inquiry as you and she responded in a bit of a hostile manner."

"What did she say?" He asked making is way now to the door.

"She told me to shut the hell up. And that I was going to spook him."

"What?" Garrus said confused.

"I said," EDI responded a little louder, "She told me to shut the-"

"EDI, I know what you said," Garrus said annoyed.

"Then why did you ask me to repeat myself Officer Vakarian?" Now EDI seemed confused.

"I didn't," he sighed as he decided to not argue with the AI, "never mind EDI. I'm going to go down there and see what she is up to."

"Signing you out Officer," EDI replied.

Garrus made his way to the elevator doors and down to engineering.

As he made his way down the stairs he could hear Shepard cursing and moving crates around. When he finally found her, she was on her hands and knees underneath a spare desk that was kept down there.

"Shepard?" he asked aloud.

He must have startled her because he heard a big bang and then her cursing out expletives that his translator didn't quite make out. She came out and stood up rubbing the back of her head.

"Sonofbitch," she seethed still rubbing the back of her head. "Garrus you startled me."

"I'm sorry. Just wondering what the hell you were doing. Lose something?" He asked.

She frowned and dropped her hand heavy to her side. "Sort of. Adams said he heard some squeaking noises down here. He thought it sounded like a space hamster."

"A space hamster?" he said putting the pieces together.

"Ya, you know the little rodent I had in a cage in my quarters," she said.

Damn. Was everyone going to misinterpret him today? "I know what a space hamster is Shepard. I'm guessing this one must be the one you had before you were arrested."

She shot him a look. "I prefer detained."

"Right. Detained." She shot him another look.

"Anyways, all those years at C-Sec must be paying off because you are correct," she said as she continued to look around.

"I'm a modern day, what do your people call him…..Sherlock?" Garrus said leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. He was kind of enjoying the fact that despite all that was going on she still had time to care about things like space hamsters.

"That'd be to one," she grunted out as she moved another crate. "Have you been reading up on humans Vakarian? Trying to impress me?"

"I'm a universal turian Shepard. I read tons of literary works from other species," he said holding his head high.

She was under another crate again. "Uh huh. Like what?"

He was going to have to make up some bullshit, "You know like-"

She quickly came from under the crate again. "Shhhh. Did you hear that?" She scrambled to her feet listening intently.

"No I-" he was interrupted again.

"BE QUIET," she whispered despite her just asking him a question. He just sighed. Arguing with her was going to be as fruitful as arguing with EDI.

All of a sudden Shepard dove into action. She leapt forward into a pile of crates and several came crashing down behind her.

"Shepard!" Garrus yelled. He heard more scrambling until she popped out of the now toppled over crates.

"I got him!" She shoved her hand triumphantly into the air. Inside was a tiny space hamster. She lowered the tiny creature back down to face her.

"Captain Lemmiwinks! I see you have been guarding engineering while I was gone," she said in a bit of a cutesy voice. Not too cutesy, she was still Commander Shepard.

"Or he came down here to find whatever food Jack hid away," he said matter of fact. She gave him a look that said he was probably right. "Seems to be an odd name for a hamster Shepard."

"Naw, fits him perfectly," she said still staring into the hamster's eyes.

"Why does he outrank you?" he said chuckling a bit as he watched her adorn over the small rodent in her hand.

She looked at Garrus. "You're going to think I'm insane when I tell you this."

"I already do, so what harm could it do?"

She sighed, deciding to ignore that comment.

"Sometimes when I've had to make a difficult decision, I've pretended that it was Captain Lemmiwinks that gave the orders and that I'm just following them," she held her breath waiting for a response.

"I-I um. Hmm. That does sound a little crazy Shepard," she started to deflate a bit, "but I must be crazy too. It makes sense to me."

It was silent in the room. Garrus thought the tension could be cut with a knife. Then she sputtered out a laugh and then started laughing one of those deep gut laughs. Something he had rarely seen these days coming from her. She couldn't contain herself.

"What?" He asked. "What's so funny?"

"You really do think I'm insane! Don't you?" she laughed, holding her side with her free hand. "I was just messing with you Garrus. That name is from some old earth cartoon and I added the rank because he was on a ship and I thought it was funny."

"I was going to ask you when you got your last psych eval," he said.

She playfully elbowed him as she calmed down. "If Captain Lemmiwinks is such an odd name, what name would you give him?"

"Boo," he said with a straight face.

"Boo?" she gave him a skeptical face. "That name isn't suitable for a hamster on a warship. Where'd you come up with that name?"

He looked down at the floor, "My sister, Sol, had a space hamster that she called Boo. She was so upset when it ate its food dish and died."

Shepard started to feel bad. "Oh," she tried to find the words to say something comforting to him. She knew he was worried about Solana and knew how close he was with her even though the last couple of years had been rough.

"Garrus she's going to be ok and so is your father," she said echoing what she had told him previously when he first broke the news about them.

"How do you know?" he said sternly looking into her eyes as if he thought there was an actual answer to that question.

She reached up to his face with her free hand and traced her thumb along the ridges of his scars. "Because they're both Vakarians. Vakarians are hard to kill."

His mandibles fluttered a bit. He was so touched by what she said that he almost felt guilty about what he was about to reveal. "Well they have to be alive because Sol is going to laugh so hard when I tell her you fell for that one," he said chuckling a bit.

Shepard pushed him away forcefully with the one hand not holding the confused hamster. Garrus almost lost his balance. "You turian bastard!" He knew she wasn't really that mad at him because she had a huge grin on her face. That damn turian was really starting to make her soft.

"I'm sorry Shepard," he said still laughing.

"So she never had a space hamster," she asked still in disbelief.

"NO! Are you kidding? Turians don't get pets unless they are useful and a space hamster is not useful at all," he said.

"Oh so now you're saying Captain Lemmiwinks isn't valuable," she asked even more appalled.

"Shepard. If he makes you happy, then he is more valuable than Element Zero," he said a bit more serious now, his laughter was tapering off.

"You must think yourself to be highly valuable then, don't you?" she said furrowing her brow and still cracking a smile.

"I don't know what you mean," he said with his sub harmonics giving a low growl unknowingly. She could feel the rumbling in his chest even through his armor.

"C'mon big guy," she said grabbing his hand and leading him behind her, "lets go upstairs and put Boo in his cage."

"So you're changing his name?" he asked as he let her lead him up the stairs.

"No. His name is still Captain Lemmiwinks, but even captains have first names. Although I don't think I can take orders from him now that I know his first name is Boo."

Garrus just shook his head in disbelief. She was always surprising him by the things she said and did. He didn't know how he was so lucky to have her.

"Why are you shaking your head," she asked pushing the elevator button.

"All joking aside, thanks for what you said back there. It means a lot," he said running hand through her hair.

"Anytime big guy," she paused for a moment, "Hey, where did you come up with that name? Boo?"

"Believe it or not, turians have cartoons too."


End file.
